What symptoms did you notice before being diagnosed with cancer?

“Autologous” means they were going to be using my own blood stem cells since the cancer had not metastasized. The procedure involved being admitted to the hospital for three weeks during which I would receive chemo every day for a week, they’d monitor various aspects of my condition and give me transfusions if needed while the chemo did its thing, then give me some shots of a drug to boost my bone marrow to produce more blood stem cells for a few days, hook me up to a machine that would run my blood through it and filter out the stem cells, and then I could go home for three weeks. Then I was admitted for another three weeks for the next part. The first week again involved chemo every day, then they monitored me and gave me transfusions when needed, and when the chemo was done its work, they gave me back my blood stem cells. Then they gave me the shots again to boost my bone marrow, and when my levels were starting to look good, they sent me home.

Thank-you to the person who asked this question! You’ve given me an opportunity to share my story!

Within a week, the closing throat had become more uncomfortable to the point that I couldn’t get to sleep because it was hard to breathe, so I finally had a friend take me to the ER. My then-husband was not much help and was supposed to work the next morning, so I had my baby with me. We sat in the waiting room a long time before they got me into a bed, and then my friend left. By that point, it was past 11pm. Over the next few hours, I was sent for an x-ray, which showed a shadow in my chest that shouldn’t be there, so the ER doctor told me it was probably cancer. I was allowed to breast-feed my baby one last time. (During all of this, when she wasn’t sleeping, the nurses would carry her around. The faster they walked, the more she loved it.) Then I had to drink that icky iodine solution to prepare for a CT scan. The doctor showed me the images on the computer and explained that the swelling in my neck was because the tumour, which was 12cm in diameter, was constricting the superior vena cava, which brings blood from the head and arms back to the heart. It was basically cutting off the circulation. The doctor said it was probably lymphoma.

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In 2004, I’d had a smoker’s cough for two or three years, even though I’d never smoked. When my daughter was about three months old, I noticed one night that I’d been bitten on my ankle by some kind of bug. At the time, I assumed spider, but I’ve repeatedly heard that there are no medically significant spiders in Canada (at least in this part of Canada), and I’ve seen some different pictures of bug bites, so now I’m thinking it might have been a centipede. Anyway, over the next few weeks, I noticed my neck was swelling up. My sagittal notch (the notch between the collarbones in below the throat) had disappeared. I went to my GP because I was starting to feel like my throat was closing up, and he referred me to an endocrinologist. She found a small lump on my thyroid and did a biopsy, but it wasn’t cancerous. My GP just left it at that and didn’t pursue it any further.

They had trouble reaching my husband because he slept like the dead, but after he was finally up they notified him and he came to the hospital. I was admitted, and over the next ten days, they biopsied the tumour and identified it as a stage IV B-cell lymphoma, got me signed up for a study (with my informed consent, of course), and put me through my first round of chemo.

Having gotten the diagnosis, and sitting in the ER bed with my baby, I initially started to tear up, but then I thought, “Why should I cry? Because society says that’s what I’m supposed to do in this situation?” I mentally buckled down for the fight of my life. I had my Bible with me, and read a verse that gave me something solid to base my faith on: But when Jesus heard it He said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” —John 11:4.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

The next step is to find a good church. If you’re not sure what to look for, you can check out a few on YouTube. A couple of channels that I recommend are Eastside City Church and Elevation Church.

In the next six months, I had a total of eight rounds of chemo. Then a few months later, they did another CT scan and saw that the tumour was growing back. The study I’d been part of was to see whether patients did better with the R-CHOP chemo or an autologous blood stem cell transplant. I was originally randomized to the R-CHOP group, but since the tumour was growing again, I was “removed” from the study and put through the autologous blood stem cell transplant procedure.

If you recognize that you have sinned against God and want to turn your life around, you can pray this prayer: Lord Jesus, I know that I’m a sinner and don’t deserve eternal life, but I believe You died for me and rose from the grave to pay the price for my sin. Please forgive me of my sins and save me. I turn away from my sins and now place my trust in You for eternal life. Thank you for the free gift of eternal life You have given me. Amen.

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Because I was in the hospital so much, my daughter was basically sent to stay with my mom a lot of the time. She had a dayhome, so there were other kids for her to play with. It was a long, gruelling ordeal, but 20 years later, I’m cancer free, out of an unhealthy marriage, and making progress toward fulfilling my dreams.

EDIT: To clarify, God didn’t give me cancer. When He finished creating the universe and everything in it, including humans, He declared it “very good” (Genesis 1:31). There was no death or disease. Then the devil tempted Eve by asking, “Did God actually say…?” A seed of doubt was planted with the implication that God was holding out. She ate the forbidden fruit and gave some to Adam, and he ate it, too. That single act of disobedience brought sin into the human bloodline and a curse on creation that included death, disease, and suffering (Romans 8:20–22). It also separated them and us from God because He is holy, and anything unholy (sin) would be destroyed in His presence. Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” The only way we can be made right with God is if a totally sinless Person dies in our place. We cannot earn our own salvation. Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That is why Jesus came and was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross in our place, and was raised to life again on the third day. John 3:16–17 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” We are saved by God’s grace (Ephesians 2:8–9).